Too Cheesy not to Share.

Ok So I have received a variety of messages online and some are pretty corny pickup lines. I will share some of my favorites.  So unfortunately for these fellas, I most likely did not reply.
I have found in my experience that even when replying, there are certain guys who will whine or get on the defensive and its rather annoying and it keeps happening so I just stopped replying.

Conversations like the such will take place.

GUY: Hey you are lovely I was hoping to get the chance to get to know you better.
ME: I am sorry but I am not interested.
GUY: But Why? What is wrong with me? Can you at least give me some advice, some pointers on what I can do to improve?
GUY: I just want to know why?
GUY: Please? I just need a reason.
GUY: Hello?
GUY: Fine you bitch. you are probably all shallow and you can't see the good in people, I don't need you, you shallow bitch.

*2 Months later*
GUY: Hey how are you? I know you said no before but just wondering how you are doing?
GUY: Hello?
GUY: ...
ME: *Blocks*

The End.

Yes these things happen...therefore I decided to stop replying, its like telemarketers as soon as you stop answering they will stop calling.
Also I think its less cruel than me replying in rejection anyway, I mean how would you feel if all day you hadn't received a message on your online dating site, then ta da! A message appears! So you are all excited to open it up and read it...then your world crashes down because its a rejection message...I believe this is why some guys get all defensive about it. Because their hopes and dreams just crashed down.


Anyway I promised cheesey so here is some...
I went through my inbox and found some messages that I wanted to recognize as either cheesy or a good try,  I have scratched out the username for privacy.

 This first one I would put in the creepy category. Of course he ended up blocked. I am not the type of girl who wants to start a conversation with "damn you're sexy" I give him points on spelling things correctly and how straightforward this guy can be.

 Geek Crescendo Guy actually send a pretty good message.  He sent two messages in the same day so that shows a little of impatience and some persistence. Kudos on the Greek Crescendo words though.

 Mr. Funny Game of Thrones Joke seems harmless.  This is actually a pretty good joke that isn't stupid and its a good way of breaking the ice.. and speaking of breaking the ice.

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Good One, very cheesy, just how I like my pizza.  However, this guy doesn't even live in Texas and I do, and according to my profile I am looking for people near me, and from the looks of it this guy just wants to break the ice and break into my pants. NEXT!

 When I didn't reply to the first message, that doesn't mean send me two more messages,  but I know we don't all read minds.  Suppose we must give this guy points for trying but this is not the droid you are looking for, move along.

 That's it...that was his pickup line...a stun gun. Did you even read my profile? Maybe you should instead of just looking at people's pictures.  But thank you for saying I'm stunning yet dangerous like a stun gun.

And last but not least...Mr. Superman. This guy basically just told me his sex fantasy about what he wants to do to me, yes he may be nerdy and everything, but this is not how you pick up classy chicks.  I am sure others have fantasies like this so not its not weird that you want to have this fantasy...but it is weird that I don't even know you and you are telling me this.
Kudos for honesty, but sorry hun, maybe you should find out if I even watch Superman before you start revealing Superman fantasies.

Well there is my sh-peal for the day of some of the messages I get, I shall share more experiences in time to come.

Your Dating Profile Pictures.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your profile picture represents you and what you want to do is look attractive to the person you are trying to attract.

Assuming you are actually trying to online date for a serious relationship and not a booty call, lets talk about what kind of picture you should have as your profile picture and what kind of pictures to put in your gallery.


-Your profile picture should be of maybe a two thirds upper portrait of you. preferably of what you currently look like.  Other good pictures would include a selfie that you take from straight in front of you, not from above or below, as seen on the image below.

Good Selfie Angle for a photo shows what you look like straight up from a normal perspective

-If you have ever had professional portraits done or you were looking fine at a wedding or party, throw one of those in there too so that your potential can see how good you look polished up.

Looking all polished up in a picture shows you can clean up well.

- Having pictures of you having fun with friends or doing an activity you like is also a good idea.  Your potential wants to know that you also have a life and that you do more than just sit at your computer looking for dates.

Show that you have a life outside the online world with friends or doing an activity you like. 

- Last but not least, if you have a pet in your life that you are very fond of like a dog or a cat. Post a picture of them too, your potential will want to know if you have a special little friend that you take care of.

Showing your pet shows that you have another special friend already in your life

IMAGES TO STAY AWAY FROM:
-Unless you are looking for booty calls, then try not to post anything that seems sexual like a shirtless picture, or too much cleavage (ladies).  Too much sexuality can make a person who is actively looking for commitment seem like you are just desperate for physical attention.
- Guys...I know some of you are proud of your car or truck...but if you are going to take a picture of it, be in the picture with your vehicle. Don't just put a picture of your vehicle in there, it makes it look like you just googled your favorite car or took a picture of a car you like and uploaded it to the site.  Probably best to just stay away from pictures with your vehicle in them unless you are actually going after materialistic girls.  Sure mention in your profile that you drive X car and if she is interested in cars she will inquire.
- Those angles...If we are trying to be honest, then lets not bombard your profile with crazy angled selfies.  Ladies are usually guilty of finding angles that make them look different. Yes you look very pretty, sure post one of those on there, but make sure that 9/10 of your pictures aren't just over the top angles where they can never see anything except your pretty face.  People want to see what you look like entirely.  Show them how you look wearing that killer outfit at So and So's wedding, show them how much fun you have playing tennis with your friends!

Building Your Dating Profile.

I'm going to explain how my online profile is built, you can take pointers and tips from this if you wish. 

My current profile has resulted from many other trial and error profiles.  What I have come up with now, I have received many complements on from guys.  They say its hilarious, witty, and just plain great.  I will post the content of my profile and explain it thoroughly.


 So this is basically what is written on my profile below.
I used the OK Cupid template since they have questions already ready for you to fill out with answers.

Notice how my profile is long and informative, yet not boring with huge paragraphs.
Huge paragraphs are a slight turnoff because...lets just say your dating profile is like your dating resume.  Instead of adding stuff about your past dates, just add stuff about yourself. You are basically selling yourself, making yourself look great so that someone wants to get to know you.

I'll write in red some explanations of my profile below.
***************************************************************************

My self-summary

Never married, does not have kids, has a career, and is independent.  

(NOTE: your first line must be right to the point of who you are.)
Congratulations you have clicked on a winner! Yes that's right, I am the full package, loving, caring, honest, loves animals, traveling, has higher studies, and loves receiving flowers!
Plus I'm learning to become a Jedi master so you know you'll be in good hands.

(NOTE: First complete thought, goes a little more in depth. this is where they will decide if they want to continue reading your complete profile or if they will exit out now.)
How do I describe myself?
-Young padawan learner, seeking the ways of the Force.
- Polyglot
- Slow but steady Solver of Rubik's cube
- Connoisseur of the fine things in life
- Lady of the vivacious sorts
- I like rhythmic ceremonial rituals
- I dance ParaPara and Play DDR and PIU
- I drive an 8th generation Civic and a 5 speed manual S13 240SX

(NOTE: This is where most people start writing long run-on paragraphs, it is much easier for people to read lists. If they see something on the list that they like they will keep reading)
 

What do you do? (Dont make it complicated, list stuff you do, throw in a witty comment somewhere)
- Learn the ways of the Force
- I dabble in the broadcast advertising industry
- I blog.
- I photograph
What do you do for fun?
-Aracde
- Karaoke
- Camping
- Movies
(continue listing, it is much easier than stating paragraphs of stuff, if its a complicated thing, if they are interested they will ask about it)

 
Why are you single? 
- I'm picky.

(Why You are Single isn't really necessary, but if you want to add it to your profile DO NOT go into specifics, it is a turnoff to read about your previous baggage. So instead just mention things like, "been concentrating on career," "new in town," or "I just haven't found the right one."

I like...
anime
cosplay
metaphysics
science fiction
karaoke
dancing and choreography
DDR/ITG & PIU
arcades
celtic and medieval stuff
archery
outdoor activities (camping, hiking, etc)
traveling
RTVF
architecture
paranormal
animals
photography
and some random stuff

 (This was just a re-iteration of stuff I like just in case, this is totally not necessary but I just feel there is so much to me, one more list would be fine)

 

What I’m doing with my life

learning to use the force...but I am a long ways away from being a Jedi master.

(If you are uncomfortable telling people what you are doing with your life, come up with a witty line  or just a basic line.  I already stated earlier in my profile what I am doing so this line was just added for humor in my profile.)

I’m really good at (self explanatory, do not go into details, they will contact you if they want details)

-Dance Dance Revolution
-Archery
-Language
-Learning
-making people smile
-karaoke
-board games
-painting figures
-cosplay 

The first things people usually notice about me

People usually notice that I am pretty proportional and that I'm not missing any limbs. ;)
I occasionally find people ogling at my posterior so it must be pretty attractive. 

(This is your chance to boast a little bit.  Here I make a small yet slightly humorous line saying that I am not missing any limbs, and I also mention that most people look at my butt, therefore I have just told you something about my physical body)

 

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food  (Listing is good in this one, if they are interested to know more they will ask)

Books: Brave New World, The Secret, and Sigmund Freud
Movies: Memoirs of a Geisha, Back to the Future, Howl's Moving Castle, Cloud Atlas, Star Wars, Vanilla Sky, The Prestige.
Music: eclectic
Favorite Anime series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, School Rumble, Inuyasha
other: Game of Thrones, TED Talks, and your occasional Korean Drama
Food: I love yogurt, sushi, pasta, enchiladas, cake and ice cream. 

The six things I could never do without (list things here)

Milk
Sleep
Phone
Anime
Glasses/contacts
(insert name of future love here) 

I spend a lot of time thinking about (try  not to be complicated with a question like this...I decided to be nerdy and something funny)

the Force 

On a typical Friday night I am (Make yourself sound fun but not too boisterous)

Round 1, Alamo Drafthouse, or spending time with friends. 

The most private thing I’m willing to admit (not necessary but if you want to add just say a guilty pleasure or something)

I have "legs for days" apparently
I have a rather strong admiration for male orange tabbies. 

You should message me if (the section where you basically say what type of person you want or don't want, just being honest)

If you were born male, find me somewhat attractive, and think I would find you even more attractive then proceed to messaging me.
-No fat chicks
- No kids
- No smoking
There are better words to use than profanity to describe things. 

***************************************************************************

So that is how I built my profile, you may use this template and fill it in with your information.  

Now I know not everyone's profile is going to be like mine, for me I am seeking men who are independent, career driven, and without kids. 

But I know others like guys with kids, or don't mind guys who smoke, or are just looking for a good time. 

And yes this is a woman's profile but really you can flip it and turn it into a template for a good profile for either gender. 

 

Introduction

Let's see, where to begin.  Well I mostly want to begin by saying the reason I am writing this.  I have been online dating since the end of the Summer of 2013.  I learned of a couple of free online internet sites, so I decided to give them a try.
At the time I did not have very many recent pictures of me because...well I had gained  few pounds, so I put up pictures of when I was more attractive.
After I had my first meeting with someone I realized that putting non-recent pictures of myself wasn't gonna fly. So I tried to put up some more recent pictures.

Anyway this blog is not going to be about what I did, but it's going to be about what kind of messages I get. online profile tips, how to message a lady properly, and so on and so forth.

Guys will message me online and then they keep doing it, and again, and again.  Then they ask, why aren't you responding? What can I do to improve?
Honestly guys you are going about it the wrong way.  Here I will give you pointers on how to make a better first impression message.  What kind of pictures you should post, what kind of things should you put on your profile.  Tips on what makes a girl click on your profile or message you back. And also things that you want to avoid.

I wish I could help you spot a lady with non-recent photos, but I can tell you this for sure.  Since I am guilty of the such, when a guy actually tells me that my pictures are deceiving it went to heart with me and I decided to change that.  It may not work with all women but honestly is usually the best policy.  If you actually afraid to hurt her feelings then just message her after the first meeting and just let her know that she wasn't what you expected, or just flat out "your pictures were slightly deceiving and I am an honest person."  Hard words but sometimes they need to be said.

This is my personal experience with online dating and maybe more than just online.